And like that it's all over. I've exhausted all possibilities with my relatives and came up empty-handed with nothing to show for it either. No more, guys. If you are one of the very few people brave enough to stop the cycle of abuse, break all ties to any of your family members who are unwilling to get professional help. There is nothing you can do for them. They will always see themselves as victims.
Here are a few of the many comments that have changed my mind. If you care to, you are more than welcomed (and even encouraged) to follow the discussion here at: http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/09/reality-check-what-black-underclass-is.html
First, let me give you a little background on what I am talking about. A while back I posted a blog entry titled, Why I Can't Just Pull An Antwon Fisher. It was written because I was still emotionally attached to my siblings and to my mother. I knew I needed to do something extreme as Antwon did but at that time I was still emotionally chained. But G-d knows my heart.
Yesterday I read the very first comment below and it put me on the spot. It was like holding a mirror up at myself. Then I woke up and read the remaining comments that I'll share with you. I have been in a daze ever since.
Sister Khadija made this comment: "It sickens me when people are shocked when I say the following: Once I find out that a woman is dating, affiliating, or whatever with a man who is a sexual predator, I cut that woman off. Completely. I don't care who they are. Or who they USED TO BE to me.
This comment forced me to admit that my mother and siblings should have NO contact with any of the men that molested me. None what so ever. But they do…they all do.
And sister Khadija also made this comment: "The mothers who've allowed their children to be molested viewed themselves as victims. Everything is always all about them. No matter what they have done, they see themselves as the "true" victims in every situation."
Want me to tell you something? I just spoke to my mother last year about still having dealings with one of the jerks who molested me, and she told me I was being selfish and only thinking about myself because she needed him to help out of a physical altercation with her husband. She called the man who----
Sister Seeking said this: "I know first hand by intimate personal experience that when you do view them as victims you reinforce their world view. I'd like to add something else to that: when a whole group of people buy into the victimization scandal it punishes innocent by standards. Case and point: when I terminated my mothers parental rights I was emotionally bullied by all my biological family members as being "selfish" " ungrateful" "hateful" and get this: "IMPATIENT."
This comment hit home with me because since I came back from visiting my family in Philadelphia this past May, I have been emotionally bullied by my mother's support team because I can not just "forgive" her. People in my family has this sick notion that I should just be more grateful and less selfish.
Sister Seeking: "Saying all of this to say: I don't have a bond with ANY of my biological family members because of their refusal to get professional help which is free as well as their refusal to take personal responsibility and manage their life."
I'll let this statement stand alone.
Sister Seeking: "Do you know what I believe brought us to our place of rest today? In addition to G-d's mercy, I believe that people like us have a certain degree of rebelliousness--a higher level of resilience that was present from birth on. From a preschooler on, I always knew something was terribly wrong with my family, and childhood. From early on I developed a protest spirit refusing to be beat down or beat up by other people. My defiance or " oppositional disorder" was not a result of mental illness, drugs, or the desire to rebel against authority--it was my innate disposition to rebel against oppression, and just pure evil. The flame inside me never has died. This is why I recognized early on that I was going to become another statistic if I didn't get out of the foster care system--and fast. This is why I terminated my mothers parental rights. And today with only a meek, and humble heart to the Almighty can a truly declare victory becuase I refused to pissed on, and defecated on by people. I did waver but my anger motivated me to fight back."
I'm done guys. Just like that it's finished. I have no ties with any of my biological family on my mother's side. I can't tell you what it's like but it is different. I am even really proud of myself for this last step because my elder was not here when I took it. These comments really resonated with me in such a way I walked right out of bondage. Just walked out of the chains. I'll remember this day for the rest of my life.
